An Open Door

gets paid more than I do.

This sign is posted on the freezer door in the back of my deli...

Remember, I only get paid $8.75 an hour.
FML

The Critter

The Critter was named such because Big G first mentioned it to me, and the Rock told me. Tonight I fouind out the origin when Big G said it herself, the movie Critters from the 80's. When I got Taco Bell with Apples just a wee bit ago, he showed me a picture of the movie cover using his spiffy phone - I was scared of how much this looks like her.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to the deli I go...

So as I was parking my car, there was the usual group of derelict teenagers sitting on the concrete retaining wall divide between one part of the shopping center and the other (it's basically a back alley), and I see one girl using some kind of goop that she was getting out of a purple taco bell cup to put on another girl's hair. Hair dying in parking lots? REALLY?

150 feet later as I near the entrance of the store I hear someone mid conversation in the distance say "Global warming sucks!" Yes. It does. Keep your voice down, we're trying to keep knowledge of this to a minimum until all of the violent polar bears drown.

Also, today I decide on (one) of my Halloween costumes. I'm going to be a slutty cop and use my khaki colored shirt from the deli, along with some short black shorts (my old deli pants, cut short), fishnets, boots, a tie, the cop shades, the plastic badge, deli nametag, the cuffs, you know. But I love how much of a f*** you it is to my company that I use their uniform as my Halloween costume.

Selections from the Deli - Psycho Moments: Que the violin

As Apples was in the back of the deli making his usual rounds, I was washing dishes and trying to drain the sink but the drain was clogged. When I pulled out the clog, Apples exclaims "IS THAT A FINGER?!" It was, in fact, a chicken nugget.
~
Another time I was going to be staying after the normal close time of midnight because I just did not have enough time to finish everything. I hadn't closed that many times and I wasn't exactly in good practice. Deli Bitch had just left to clock out, and a few minutes later as I was facing the wall washing dishes, the lights went out. I stand there for a minute wondering what had happened, then ask into the oblivion "...Deli Bitch?"

There was no reply.

I start freaking out a little bit. I call out again, and as before, there was no reply. I walk carefully over to the light switches, which are conveniently located next to a dark, creepy, supply closet. They are all stuck on, and when I flip them on and off, they all remain off. I'm getting major heebie jeebies next to this black hole of a closet so I decide that the deli doesn't have to be finished since I was only voluntarily staying late anyway, so I clocked out and went home.

Attention Slave(Life)Away Shoppers...

please dispose of your...personal items...in the bathroom completely. I don't want to know that you took a pregnancy test in the bathroom of your local grocery store...it makes me wonder a few things...
1. did you steal it?
2. what was the result?
3. WHY take it there?!

So the other night...

was pretty eventful.

Deli Girl (on Nayrx's stained pant knees): "Is that bleach?"
Nayrx: "No, it's block cleaner - oh my god you missed epic owl on my pants!" (Grabs phone to show picture)

(As the conversation continues)

Deli Girl: (Drops phone on ground while sitting on food prep table in the back) "Oh noes! My phone! I need that to sext with!"
Nayrx: (Picks up phone, looks through it for a minute) "You don't sext like I do."

Making a Difference

is not what my paycheck does, apparently, since I forgot to pick it up.